The end of July and beginning of August brought 20-hour days filled with birthday party preparations for my oldest.
It was my own fault, really. I started the summer with the best intentions to keep the party planning stress-free. But life always gets in the way, and I was 10 days out from the birthday party with almost nothing prepared. That’s even more last-minute than I tend to be.
But you know what? Despite the sleep deprivation and the high-stress levels, I loved it. There’s something so special about seeing hard work turn into something awesome. It can be a fun recipe, a DIY project for the home, or my kids’ parties. I just love to create.
The downside to planning crafty, and over-the-top kids parties
Like others with the party bug, I love to browse the big party websites for inspiration and ideas. I also know that my kids’ parties will never look quite like those. I don’t have thousands of dollars to spend on catering or professional photographers. Almost everything for my kids’ parties is completely handmade.
But are even my kids’ parties too much? I don’t remember parties being quite so big as they are these days. Most of my own birthday parties were pretty low key. We goofed off in the backyard, played musical chairs or pin the tail on the donkey, ate cake, and took home cheap plastic goodie bags filled with junk that was lost or broke within a week.
I hate the idea that my kids might grow to expect bigger and bigger parties each year. Thankfully, that hasn’t happened yet. T actually requested to invite fewer friends for her party this year. But there’s always the potential that the expectation is to have a big celebration for every single birthday.
I hate how the stress of pulling together the kids’ parties affects the rest of the family. No matter how much I love creating these events and experiences…sometimes it means that the family balance is off. Sleep deprivation and stress give me a hair trigger temper, and I lose quality time with the kids.
I hate the conflicted feeling I get when other kids moms walk into my parties. Comments like “Oh, wow” and “Raising the bar, eh?” are commonplace. Parties don’t need coordinated decorations, fancy favor bars, or themed foods to be great. What truly makes a party perfect is if the kids have fun together. I don’t make over-the-top kids parties for competition. To me, imagining and pulling together creative parties is a fun challenge.
I love making over-the-top kids parties.
I’m never going to stop loving over-the-top kids parties. But this summer proved to me that I have a limit. After careful consideration, the kids and I agreed to reduce the number of big parties next year. Since all our kids birthdays are in the summer, we’ll hold only one big party. One party where I can pull all the stops. One party where I can go absolutely crazy with themes and activities and decorations. On their individual birthdays, the kids will get a smaller celebration that will be less styled, but no less important. And I won’t let them take 20-hour days to pull together.
Do you believe over-the-top kids parties are doing more harm than good?
What do you do to celebrate your kids birthdays?
This post is written in response to the August prompt for the Who I Am Project; hosted by Dana at Kiss My List. This month’s prompt is “Loves and Hates”.
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Jen says
I think I had that same cake! You are my party guru, If you were closer I would hire you for all of ours. I am so impressed with your creativity and what you come up with. I just wish my kiddos birthdays weren’t spread all over the year and we could lump them all in one, also the 14 year old might not like having a Dora the Explorer cake…..
Dana says
While I do not have your talent for parties, I did enjoy being creative when planning my kids’ birthday celebrations when they were younger. Fortunately the bar was quite a bit lower before the days of Pinterest! I have two August babies, but we never did their parties together – that’s smart! Eventually they started wanting parties out of the house – bowling, pottery painting, laser tag. A little more costly but stress-free!
Tamara says
I feel like Cassidy could have written this!!!
He has such a talent and he puts a lot of pressure on himself every year. I feel like at this point, we can’t go back and only forward. Well, you’ve seen our parties!
And I’ve seen yours! If you truly like it, it’s worth every ounce.
Bev says
Growing up, my mom organized great birthday parties for me, but she focused more on the activity than in the decorations. That’s what sticks out in my mind — I remember when her friend taught origami, and another year another friend taught candy-making. I loved them, and I hope the planning didn’t stress her out too much.
It sounds to me like this is a wonderful creative outlet for you, but it’s also a fine balance between making the process enjoyable and putting stress on yourself. I haven’t really been to any over-the-top birthday parties yet, most of my friends so far have done simple things like pizza at the playground, but sometimes I feel pressure from Pinterest wondering if I should be doing more. I also realize that for me, that’s not where I get my excitement so I’m learning not to put so much pressure on myself.
Thanks for sharing, it was really interesting to read from the perspective of someone who enjoys planning big parties.
Nellie says
From someone from the opposite end of the spectrum, I love seeing your parties because they come together so beautifully and in such an awesome way! I, however, am not that mom. Birthday parties give me the hives a bit, and usually I am way too late by the time I start planning. ugh.
Julia Tomiak says
I like putting a little thought and creativity into parties, but agree that too much focus on elaborate games and decorations takes focus off of the point: kids having fun together. I, too, can get so stressed I forget to enjoy the festivities. So I’ve learned to scale back and maybe go over the top on just one aspect (like a Lego inspired cake). Thanks for sharing!
Janine Huldie says
I am truly guilty as charged with the over the top birthday parties from he time my girls were really young. I am conflicted still with this, but then can’t help myself when the actual birthdays come and always end up doing bigger and better each time, as it is fun to come up with new creative ideas and love seeing my girls’ reactions with each passing year, as well.
Nina says
I can imagine how stressful it is to plan over the top parties! I’ve planned a few non-over the top ones and it already stressed me out lol. At least now you have a good handle on it and know your limits. I’ve decided to do away with parties and we just do a fun family outing for their birthdays.
Mo says
This post reminds me so much of my amazing daughter-in-law. She says that the best gift she ever received (other than her husband and children) was her Cricut machine. She goes absolutely crazy with party planning and decor and the results are a wonder to behold. She, too, experiences the sleep deprivation and wonders if the effort and toll on her and the family are worth it. And, like you, she is working on finding the balance between the pleasure she gets from the creative outlet that part planning provides and knowing when to say “enough”.